you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
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