it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
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