Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
Randomize
