Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Randomize
