I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
