He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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