: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
Randomize
