In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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