So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Randomize
