i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Eric just called. Says he's trapped in a cul de sac because the road disappeared. Wants me to tell him what street has the bushes that whisper sweet nothings into you ear and the wobbling purple pokemon. Oh, and a "bigger and better" penis is growing out of his belly button. He took shrooms by the way.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
