Are we in a gay sports bar?
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
