the new term for farting is butt boxing.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Randomize
