We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
Randomize
