Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
Randomize
