I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Randomize
