how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
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