Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
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