gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
You need a sexual gate keeper
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
Randomize
