She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
bring money and cleavage
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Randomize
