Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
