Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
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