I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
