sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Randomize
