So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
