im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
