My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
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