I wish I only lived at night.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
I could fuck to npr.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
I yelled at your uterus for you.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
