Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Randomize
