tell your sister to shave her snatch
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
He did a backflip because drugs
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
