Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
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