Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Randomize
