Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Randomize
