Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
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