At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
It's just like the Real World with babies
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
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