this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
