Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
