none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
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