I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
