This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
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