We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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