i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
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