I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize
