I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
