i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
