end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
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