No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
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