So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Randomize
