who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Randomize
