you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Randomize
