NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Randomize