i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
