im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
Randomize
