Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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