Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
