why didn't you poke me back
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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