there's paper in my vomit.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Randomize
