Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
