My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Randomize
