Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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